Danse Macabre

The phones the phones the phones the phones!
I could love my life more if those phones would stop.
I dance my danse macabre as it rings and rings and rings.
With my claws in the air and my horns erect and my tail ready for destruction, Im damning you phone.
DAMN YOU!







And lastly, I love reading.
Dont give me that surprised look.
I love reading as much as I love 60s sci-fi/fantasy book art.
I mean come on you guys.


And also, I think when I move, Id like to make a wing of the house in all 3D wire vectors and lights and rays. There would be buzzing sounds and maybe a tiny robot in the corner that watches you with its tiny red eyes.
Its to instill a fear inside you, thats all.
Thats all!



Wait and this too.



And before I forget.
All hail, The Snow Queen.

Ketchup and Jeff Goldblum

Yesterday Farrah Fawcet died.
Bew Hew.
Also, Michael Jackson.
You know. Sorry you're dead Michael but I am sick of your death already.
Assholes who only listen to you at parties were singing your songs all up and down the street last night.
Im happy youre comfortable with your own voice.
Im happy you know all the words to my personal favorite Don't Stop Til You Get Enough.
But stop it.
Just stop.
Michael stopped because he got enough.
Did anyone hear the BBC World News when they interviewed an American in London?

I think it went something like this...(start sharpening those knives!)

"LIKE. I AM LIKE SO SAD! I AM LIKE THE CRAZY AMERICAN GIRL IN THE OFFICE WHO ONLY LISTENS TO MICHAEL JACKSON SONGS AND LIKE MICHAEL WAS LIKE A MAJOR PART OF MY LIFE I MEAN LIKE I WORE HIS T-SHIRTS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND LISTENED TO HIS MUSIC LIKE ALL THE TIME! I WAS LIKE HIS BIGGEST FAN! AND NOW I LIKE CANT LIKE EVEN TALK BECAUSE IM LIKE SOOOOOOOO SAD!"

Die, small brain, die!
And bravo BBC World News for snagging a dumb one for your boring news show.

But really, the death I was most silenced by was Jeff Goldblum.
Unfortunately, I heard it through my friend.
But then later, after discovering that Kurt was also a serious (but not serious enough because he's never seen Earth Girls Are Easy or Annie Hall or Thank God It's Friday or Independence Day or even The Fly, SHOCKED!), I soon discovered that it was a hoax.
And an excellent one at that.




And really?
I have always been so behind in the Movie Department.
Its just that if I come across something so exciting Ill watch the shit out of it.

I am tempted to restart my Netflix and am aware that all 490 movies in my queue are still there. However, I should probably work on getting a computer at home first.
I live in the Dark Age. Literally.

But really, I am excited for these.
And because Dave Eggers is my most favorite living writer.
5-Alive!







I have averaged out 4-5 hours of sleep a night and have come to love nap time.
Im here nor there but always with you.

Raddical Sabbatical #2

Get blown to bits.



Currently, things have been on that slower tip.
Workwise and brainwise.
But not funwise.
I think if anything I have never had so much fun in all my life.
Ok this is a full on lie.
Perhaps the most fun I ever had was...now.

Today, Travis shared a new discovery.

Its a giant hamster that also goes by Capybara and/or Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris.
Its origins; South America.
And its favorite food; The Popsicle.

Here are a few facts:

"His voice is often mistaken for a birdsong. When he’s nervous he sounds like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. When he’s happy he sounds like a Geiger counter."
"The day Caplin bit me I posted a blog expressing both of our confusion over the event and his subsequent hostility. Over time, I realized he intended me to be part of his herd and I was not cooperating. Eventually we worked through this."

Thank you Travis. I will never murdering spree you. Yet.


And in the "News You Can Use" department, Joel and Rosanna like to eat their meat on bread, in the form of a sandwich.




And in more important news, I have located the 2001: A Space Odyssey screenplay.
This and Brain Candy are my most favorite movies of all time.
Actually, that's another lie.
But theyre way up there.


Also, I kind of want to go here and howl.
DANCE PART!

Once There Were Mountains On Mountains And Once There Were Sunbirds To Soar With And Once I Could Never Be Down

Ive got some things on my mind.

1. Otto
(not Otto but could be his brother)


After some time Ive grown impatient.
Otto is only 10% done and I worry.
Parts are still out of stock.
And I wait and wait.
But there is no hunting because no one else has what he needs.
I wait with you Otto.
I wont leave your side ever!

2. Honest enough to love the shit out of this video, a video comparable to the style of this fine classic.
And pout for not having the tools to make things as lovely and frightening and lovely.

3. Getting back to work in the style of ghosts.


4. Reflections


5. Muscle toning


6.


7. Becoming better at everything


8. Mariah


9. Power


10. Being responsible


11. Organizing breakfast dates


12. Waiting for the fear to subside


13. Feeling nurturing


14. Reading time


15. Missing being friends with my sister "Ron"


16. Rachel Dratch as Harry Potter


17. Interested in the organized parts of town


18. Dress up nights


19. Learning new tricks


20. Adventures


21. New life



* * *


And in news from the "Holy Shit" arena.

Adrian Belew! You are F.I.L.T.H.Y.

And lets all sigh at Simon Gallup, the reason why all boys should wear white pants.

My Whole World Is Falling Apart and/or Taking a Stab At Dramatics

Of course it took Arianna, bless her heart, to turn Linda over to examine Linda's genitalia.

Oh god I dont even know how to begin.
Awash in betrayal and now feeling so confused.
Linda is a Larry.



I suppose David Shrigley can best describe how I am feeling.
Or rather, how my fist is feeling.



Oh Linda.
How did this happen?
We were together for so long.
And I dressed you in your finest and you didnt even say a word, not a single word!




Ive been holding you so high under falsities and I feel like we need to start our relationship over.
Thoughts?



And I like snails.

(lets thank my brother for his kickass camera and his not so round eye for capturing my homeless hands and this furly little friend)

Sometimes, Sometimes I Cant Stop The Awesome

I fixed my taillight dammit.
I fixed it real good.
I fixed that little shitkicker and said "I am going to fix you and you will like it you little shit."
And came out looking like "Pig-Pen."


Hands and elbows greased to the maxi pad, I got in there.
With no rear tire to stand in the way.
And I checked out my spliced wires.
Shredded in the most heinous way.
Hai spliced wires whats the deal?!
I will split you and put you in a thing at both ends and squish the thing so you cant ever get away.
Thats right.
Thats right I did that.
And I put the thing to the thing and I won.
I won.


Hush now hush.







And not so funny news.
I rode my centaurian slave home during lunch.
Thats about 3 miles down 4th.
I hadnt ridden a bicycle in what could be a year.
And now.
Now I just want to voms all over the place.

Im sorry.
Just accept it.

And accept this as its where I am napping right now.

I Am Sort Of Broken In My Brain

Well, I am.
Usually.
Its as if I have been shaken by my ankles too many times.
To be fair, Brendan Bllarrans and quite possibly his hot wife Arianna are probs feeling broken brained (as the title was B.Barrans first words to me today) from all the fun we had at the Rickshaw.
Let us all appreciate a strong pee stream.

Thanks for the photo BB.


Moving on.
My most excellent co-worker Linnea (she's really my most favorite person in SODO 5 days a week) gave me a bike. She's too tall for it.
It's a Schwinn Moab with Shimano brakes and unrecognizable tires.
But with a little tune up and a rub down and a little paint job it'll be my Centaurian slave in no time.
And perfect to get back into shape and right to work without crashing down 2nd.
I will miss it.
But Chip could use this time to catch up on the things he likes.
Such as:

-Horses


-The Ladies (I let him stare. I dont mind. I mean just as long as he comes home to me. I mean, after all. Chip is Italian.)


-Free Jazz and The Black Turtlenecks Associated With Free Jazz


-Dying Stars and Other Cosmic Mysteries


-Dreams of Walking


-Scott Walker


-Chip's Friends




Does my newly aquired bicycle (first in Seattle) make me as excited as this?


Kinda!