Apologies For Not Improving Your Daily Life, Daily

Id be blogging every day if I could.
I know for a fact that everyone visits this blogge to boost their health levels to a near max.
And because Ive been blogging less and less these days, I apologize.
I apologize for not making your life better.
I apologize for this blogge for not making your every day the best day of your lives.



Please.
Dont cry.
I lay in this torrent of letters, threats and pictures.
Of how your lives have fallen to the perils of eternal darkness.
But fear not.
I will be able to blogge more and more as soon as I find the perfect raptop.

So until then, you may continue to send me your photos.
But please, please dont cry, die, listen to these on repeat (or do but only because of how wonderful they are), binge drink, thrash around like this kid, and/or lock yourself in that closet.

If you have fallen into despair please please I too am feeling the following regarding the lack of quality and quantity of these blogge posts.

Generally Speaking, Im Full of Spaz

But its only because you turned my world upside down.



Love now.

Thank Ye

Everyone, I am thankful for many things, things that I will now list until I feel like it.

1. Isabella Rossellini


2. The French Fry


3. Neon


4. Explorations In Space and Sea


5. Fashion


6. Learning


7. Linda


8. Michael Keaton In Most Films


9. Baked Ruffles


10. The Mash of Jeff and Eddies brains


11. Places Like Italy


12. Lomography


13. Craftsmanship


14. Fiber Optics


15. Glitter


16. My Grandparents Youth


17. The Mulleavy Sisters


18. A Proper Greeting and Goodbye Between Good Friends


19. The Power of Thread


20. The Weirdos of The World


21. Neil Young's Pitch


22. The Movies


23. Sharing Our Feelings


24. Soulmates


25. Korn Fud


26. Krazy Glue


27. Irreplaceable Shapes and Sounds


28. Soft Pansy


29. The Dictonary, Esp One On A Stand


30. Animals Who Share Their Views


31. The Awful Hen and The Man Who Introduced Me To Chip


+



32. Nature


33. My Sister Rhanasaurus Rex, Ronald or Rhotato Salad



I want to finish this later because I have something more important to talk about.
During the last few hours of our most excellent 23hr date, after a wonderful walk through the park and a run-in with a green ghost, Travis and I found something so spectacular, it could have only been a sign from Ganesh, Gomorrah, Goldeneye.

Tired and waiting for us, we discovered this hungry creature propped up against a tree.


When we found shelter, we checked to see if it was injured in any way.
And it wasnt.



IT EVEN CAME WITH A JERSEY! Right?



You can find our review here.

Needless to say, something someone was trying to reach out to us to tell us something, to share a bit of news.

And the news was good.
And we shoot. We score.


Thank ye, thank ye.

Here Comes The Judge and/or Remember Me?

Brace yourselves.
Guess who's goin home in exactly one month?

THIS ASSHOLE!



I dont hate Chicago anymore.
I mean, to be honest, my first thought is "DIE."
But when I put more thought into it Im not yarfing or stabbing whatever is next to me.
After all, there are people I love who still refuse to leave the bunghole that is Chicago.

And of course, there are many other things, things that were rooted in me that will be me til the day I die.

Im going to try to list them all before my eyes go raw from all the visual carnage Im about to throw down.







































Yeah I agree. Incomplete.
Ill have to think about this some more, as my mind is a blur currently, when I think about Chicago.
Also, maybe then would be a good time to reintroduce Chicago and take proper documentation of this old home.


And in other news, I dreamt we lived in a place like this.
But there was no roof. The trees acted as stand-ins and when the sky was clear we had them sway to the side. All we did was tap their branches and they moved over. Our books had more colors and reached floor to ceiling and a massive colorful wire sculpture stood guard in the corner. Lots of windows.




Remember me?
Im going to hug you so hard with this shirt on so you get it all over you, fage.



Also, remember when you guys came over and you had your first 4ko?
HIE BEN N ASH HIE!




Hie Ronald! Rodarte in ONE MONTH! THO EXTHITE!

Inside Out

Lets see.
What do I have what do I have going on in my um what do I have in my...



No no what is going on in here oh wait.
Oh here.



I refuse to let the rain get to me.
I refuse to let the rain get to me.
I refuse to let the rain get to me.

I have only eaten sugar today and I crashed about 4 hours ago am now on auto-pilot.
In an empty container that once held flax butter I packed rice for lunch today.
Well being half brained this morning I grabbed the actual tub of flax butter.
I mean, my god, the horrifying discovery threw me into a panic and I grabbed for a mango that had been waiting for me in the fridge. And a bucket of caramel corn.
And now I feel like falling into a deep pit and clawing mud and dirt to cover me.
Im drowning in a numb haze.
And the only light on is the one where I am here.



and here



and here



and here



and here



and here



and here



and here



Im putting my foot down and not going to let the rain win.
Adventure camp this weekend.
Lets get lost in the woods.

Love now.

Skills As Good As Mariah

SUP!
CHECK OUT MY MAD SKILLS!



In the Korean fud dept!
I mean, usually, when I want to show someone how much I care, Ill cook them a roast. A long and patient process for the ones I love. But when that person loves animals too much not to eat them (I KNOW HOW BIZARRE TO LOVE ANIMALS TO BITS N PIECES AND NOT WANT TO PUT THEM INSIDE YOU), you have to figure things out. And I think I did ok. Im learnin.

kong nah mul


fried tofu! almost like fried chicken pieces!


bokumbap aka kimchi fried rice with no spam, pork, bacon, chicken, beef, eyeballs, or ham. And no, Korns do NOT eat dog or cat.


Even Travis was shocked that he liked it.


HAY MA! Ya happy NAO?! Your do-ta is all grown up and learnin how to be Korn.
You alright I learned it from watching you!




SUCCESS.



Earlier that day, we tested out our Advice Booth.


We only had 2 costumers.



We'll be putting up our booth sometime this Winter so please continue to suffer and lock it all up inside you and bring them to us when we are ready for you.



T.A.S.T.E.E.





Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand in better gnus, Chip will be out n about this weekend.
RISE! RISE! RIIIIIIIIIISE!


And lookin' for adventure and whatever comes our way.



HOLLER IF YOURE WITH ME.




HI RON!

I Love Most Animals and Korns

My friend JANNY is a vegan.
She is also as demented as I am.
Perhaps more.
Id post a photo of her Im going to see her soon so Ill do it when I get back. She likes to send me photos of herself. Unflattering and frightening is what she aims for and nails it every time.

But this will have to do, Pig.



ANYHEWDLES...

I wont be eating Thanksgiving turkey or regular err day turkey this year or maybe forEVAR.




I have a new friend named "Hawthorne" thanks to Janny.
Thankfully, I got the "Easy going and Thoughtful" one.
I dont need another obnoxious ape shit bird in my life.

I MEAN I was already convinced with this asshole.
So think Im done with turkey forever.



I mean LOOK AT IT!



Who in their right mind would want to eat THAT! KURT?! NAH DONT THINK SO!

And in other news.

Im missing the SHIT out of Korea.

Louder And Softer Closer And Dearer

Last year at this time I was on a mission to stop everything and to figure it all out on my own.
To get back to me and to remember who I was and why I was born into this planet, instead of questioning if I had outlived it.
It was the first time I had a break from working full time for 7 consecutive years.
My first vacation from a toxic, lifeless life.
And 8 months after the end of that life sent me to the west. One month in the motherland (Ill tell you this story someday). The rest of my months here. New land.
And just last year at this time I finally remembered all the things that made my heart beat faster and the make-up that I had long forgotten.



My dad pulling my sleigh in the middle of the street on the first day of a Chicago snow storm.


The magnolia tree in our backyard that Id climb.


My jewels, known to others as super bouncy balls.


How to twirl spaghetti.


My first heartache.


Hiding this


while wearing this


from the nuns and my mom.

Learning early.


Dream time.


Big girl adventures.


My inner world / outer world hypoth.



My power animal.


If only I had a camera when I was young. The images now would hover over and send me back to a more simple life and illuminate my next direction.
But at least I know now, my children will have one and theyll be able to remember everything and those everythings will help them realize the absolute greatness in them today. Fingers crossed.
But not really today. As they are still inside, hibernating.

I escaped my dying breath.
No more fear and no more worrying.
Life is a good thing and will only go forth.



KAG + JINZ I miss you in this life.

A Horrifying Splendor and Oh My Gaad We Did It

Holy bonkers.
Halloween weekend was the bomb pop.
Bachelorette party, shop beast, Pocahauted and the wedding.
How I pulled it off is beyond me.
Actually, luck came to the rescue in the form of Santa.



But lets back it up a bit.

Friday was Trina's bachelorette party.
NAO I had never planned such a party esp in a town still new to me.
So with the HALP of Ann Barrans, we were able to devise a most successful B Party.
No there were no limos no male strippers or streaking or flashing.
No midnight run to Mexico or peyote induced firepit dancing.
No shoplifting no pickpocketing no car keying and no baby snatching.
It was just dinner, desserts, drinks and dancing.
We kept it real.
Real chill.
Even with a 4ft peen.





And sexy cops.



And some dance offs.



And getting locked up in the trunk.
Whos that?



Oh its me.



While the guys were out crashing parties, rearranging signs and punching each other in the face along the beach, we gals got home at a respectable hour. Big day ahead.
And SHEEEEEESH! GOOD THING!
Because Pocahaunted was finally done.





And the beast was nearly done.



Until I locked myself out. DUMMY! But if Travis wasnt there I would have froze and would have faced a most awkward moment with a neighbor. NO NEIGHBOR WHOM I JUST MET THAT DAY I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH TEEVEE IN YOUR STUDIO APT!

But thankfully, Santa helped me put everything together and he lent me his eyeball.





And of course. These helped too.



And so the wedding arrived and we all became retarded children.
And what a spendid night it was.


















And in news from the "delightful" dept...
Chip is almost there.





♥∞³

I Am A Monster

My sternocleidomastoid hurts.



And it hurts when I do this:



And when someone does this:



And when he does that:



And when she sticks it on my neck:



And sometimes when I do this:



I dont know why Im experiencing this pain but Ive successfully asked an unreliable source, The Interwebs.

I should apparently stretch it out. However while thinking about this I wondered if it was related to any dental problems. People do not take care of their teeth. I know Im not obsessively taking care of mine but at least I am aware of the importance of teeth so that makes me smarter than most. So people. Please floss your teeth and brush your tongue and gargle and try not to eat popcorn on the regular. I can't tell you how miserable youre making my life when all I smell is your tarter. Luckily, I havent smelled it from you all, but I have from strangers, on the bus. OF COURSE.

So Im supposed to stretch it out.
Like this:



And like this:



And like this:



And like this:



But not allowed to do anything like this:






Hopefully Ill figure it out.
But in the meantime, Ill just have to keep researching.



Oh yeah!
My old pal Jason Voorhees, whoa not this Jason Voorhees:



or this Jason Voorhees:



But this Jason Voorhees is now a man baby.





BEEP BEEP!!!