Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Brutally Beyond Belief and Nuisances


Remember that one time I was like I CANT WAIT TIL I MOVE IN 1O MONTHS.
Well that time is now and of course nothing is going as planned.
Im mildly happy about it though, because I would rather live under my desk at work than live with strangers who could potentially ruin all good things known to man.
Basically, my first experiences in SHEEEEEEEEEEEATURR were terrible due to all the bullshit people I lived with. Except MELINDA of course. But no more ex-meth addicts who are obsessed with their ex-girlfriend, no more transgendered oppressed anarchist lesbians, no more cocaine partiers, no more mean cats.

So its a good thing these 2 assholes flaked on me and Kurt.
We can finally live in retardom together before he leaves us forever, for Yarpan to be with the love of his life, Miwakorn.

But we cant move yet because the landlord of our future home is stuck in Hungary (POOR BABY), due to the volcano (THANKS VOLCANO).
So Im going to stay with my boyfriend for a few weeks.
I know I know THE HORROR!!!
But we think it will work out, temporarily.
Ill keep you posted as best I can of the experience but for now, Im excited and scared.
Like sleepaway camp, I will be very exhausted for the next few weeks so dont get mad if I dont remind you how pretty you.


So Ive been packing OR I got robbed.

What else has been happening in the world.

McMinnville White Weiner fest happened on Sunday.

This time there were more than 2 mopeds.
This time there were 7.

It was basically The Mosquito Fleet vs The Puddle Cutters and boy was it a hoot to see Wayne and Emily. I only wish I had more time in Portland as I NEVER get to which is pathetic, really, since its only 3 hours away.


Travis came in 1st in pretty much all the moped races, which wasnt really all that surprising.
Its funny because nearly a year ago he refused to race he'd stand there arms crossed and tell me NO like I was some dumb kid trying to convince him that I was mildly psychic, which I AM.
He's a graceful rider. Honestly. You can see the confidence and trust he has in his machine. And he looks more natural riding Big Red than Betty White (SORRY HON ITS TRUE).
But he put the fear in me when he raced this one kid from Portland.
A kid who some people claimed had a bitchin fast bike.
WELL, as the founder of "Bitchin' and/or Facts" I cannot agree.
His moped not only sounded a bit on the janky side, he just didnt look natural riding. He was riding a moped and that was it. I dont think Im being biased by saying so. Its just THE FACTS.
Prettiest bike had to go to Uphill Battle Joe #420 (teal mags and red frame AW CUTE).

As a fellow Vespa admirer, I was intrigued and curious.
The more I thought of racing, the more I wanted to make Chip into my race bike.
Im comfortable with not only the frame but in general, comfortable riding the shit out of it.
But Travis and Phil have been trying to convince me that the Hobbit is the smarter, better version of the Vespa.

Lets stop talking about that.
And talk about how some people were born to wear leathers.

And some people were born to point out their muscles.

And some people were born to wear seafoam green.

Macro races are always fun.

And bunnies are always interesting because you NEVER know what theyre thinking about.

Also, dirt bikes are forever kickass.

Oh yeah and some people just want to play the shit out of D+D because its fucking cool.

Im ready for summer.

Bye now.
Lets meet back here soon.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Chackns and That Racing Fever

OH SNAP. Ann got chackns and Travis won 1st.
That's all pals! Nothing more.



Well, since I am so dingdongdang boring, Ill talk about everyone else's fun and eggciting lives.

Lets start with Ann, as her name starts with an "A" and everyone's names do not.

Finally, after duking it out with her husband BOB, she won.
And she won 3 little chicks.

Skipper, Beetlejuice, and Gertie.
I got to name Skipper "Skipper" because it suited her personality and was also whispered to me by Beetlejuice.

That happened on Saturday and theyve already grown.
As their aunt I feel compelled to watch them, talk to them, and update them on whats happening in the world.

Already now, their wings have become more defined and have established relationships with each other.

Maggie is impartial to them.

Ive never held a chick before and even before that, didnt know you can buy chicks at the store.

At the feed store, they sold lots of dazzling accesories.

I wanted to run around and touch everything but I was being watched.

Anyhewdles, ANN found her 3 chicks, one by one.

Gertie! With her mealwormy feet! EW!

Youre too young to read my blogge (thats french for "blog").

And she died of excitement. But I revived her because I can. And she drove home as I watched the 3 chicks on my lap chirping and chirping and chirping.
Im glad they didnt barfs.
I am excited to watch them grow, and since they are growing so quickly, I wont pull my hair out waiting.

And then I made crackers.


Race day at the PGPricks!

Travis and Phil were made to race each other.
Competitive like pros, pals before hoes (ESPECIALLY THE ONES AT KNOTTY BODIES RIGHT GUYS?!?!?!?!?!).

Nice form boys!

UHOH Phil needed a headstart.

And in the end, winner took all.
Including Phils head.

Cant wait for Portland for Weinerfest 2010 and LEATHER MONDAY today!

Ill still race one day but first I have to practice my winning face.


My Fangs