Déjà DUMB

I was startled at 223 this morning.
I heard what sounded like pvc pipes being dropped off a truck and shit tons of laughing.
I was scared to go to the window but the curiosity was eating me up inside.
I woke up and damned god under my breath.
I could have been in the middle of the best dream.
Or replaying one of my most favorite stories.
DRATS!
Too late!
A faded green van peeled off into the alley and a trail of laughter was all that was left.
Well, laughter and this:



WHAT THE SHIT?

I rooted around my "desk" for my glasses.
What the HALE was I looking at?!
From where I was looking, with my glasses on it looked like stretched canvas and a blank action sign (!!!!!!!!!! POW! BLAM! KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!).
Visions of me maniacally laughing painting the most epic demented scene kept me from blinking from breathing.
Temptation and mystery consumed me.
What if someone was watching me.
What if my neighbors were watching me.
Id be that girl.
The scavenger.
The hoarder.
The nosey neighbor.
The old lady who calls the cops.
The old lady who was murdered for being too nosey.

And I left.


And I came back.
Feeling like a real jackass.




But SRSLY?

Familiarity waved a warm blanket over my face.
Where am I?
Who's there?

I laid there for a while.
I moved my toes as if in deep grass.
I stepped into the excessive sighers club for a brief moment.
I really miss having a yard.

And in other news, Otto will rise from the grave.
I will try to introduce him to the others.
However, he may come off as arrogant, crass, snobbish, and totally intimidating.

Its Official!

I am now officially unhappy with my job!
Like, really unhappy.
Like, riding as fast as I can down 6th and ignoring side streets while screaming into my helmet.

I get to soak in everyones bullshit attitudes, with a smile, take constructive criticism as if it were to be told to an unwanted stepchild, and read a torrent of emails that are completely laced with the most evil kind of sarcasm.

Hey Jihee, youre a fucking dumbass.

I get to do all this while I organize their lives and lie to clients whom they just dont feel like talking to and let them stand at my desk and sigh excessively. I can take the shit end of every stick because they lost yet another 5million dollar project.





I need that wild wind to explode right through me now, later, every day, every night.



And its 101 degrees.

Living In the Style of Wiped Out and Can I Hang?

Currently, my ghost writes m'blogge.

Currently, I might be looking for a cheap m'hotel to sleep in tonight or tomorrow night as it will reach 99 d'grees on Wednesday.
Or maybe I will sleep outside somewhere soft.
Or sleep on your rooftop?
Or on your AIR CON floor?
Thankfully, Ill be indoors watching movies for the next 3 days after work.
BUT THEN WHAT?! OH THE HORROR!

But seriously forks.

2.00am
4.43am
7.01am


I woke up 3 times last night.

The first being woken by a squeaking bicycle tire.
I jumped up from my fed as I thought a ghost was turning the wheels of my centaurian slave, Slave.
I looked out clutching my sheet. A homeless man riding in circles in the parking lot of the Excel Spreadsheet Wall. Sounds came out of his mouth. Nothing pleasant. Possibly almost a meek cry for..........BACONNE.
Someone in my building was cooking a full breakfast at 2am.
Typically, Id be all smiles for breakfast for dinner is always tops.
As is fries. But dont worry Janny, I still like you more than fries.
The scent of baconne and eggs most likely hypnotized his nose (SLEEP!) which then caused him to ride in circles.



I would too you know!


The second time.

The second time I woke up was when I was being raped by a mosquito.
Currently, the mosquito is breathing heavily in the corners of my not as dusty room (Thank you, The Swiffer), swollen with my blood, counting down to his eternal darkness.

Id get up. Shove my sheet into my freezer. Wait a few moments. Then cocoon myself from the mosquito. I cursed the mosquito as I dug my nail into its swollen bite. Mosquito mosquito my summer's plight. I live for my wild summers only to suffer your most evil bite!





The third time I woke was for work.
And I was ready for it.
I was ready to blast down 2nd Ave and get slapped by the cool bay wind.
To slap my eyeballs and make me tear and make my heart beat faster and faster.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOFEAR.


I am neither here or there, again.
I am staring so long that everything before me has become pixelated.
Why does the sun get so angry.
Where is my raft?
I think its time for an under desk adventure.
But what if I never come out?!
What if I refuse to leave?
Oh What will become of me during the next 3 days of utter doom?!
OH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!






Aaaaaaaaand in more stylish news, would anyone like to do a movie night with me?
Ive always wanted to see Branded To Kill but it was too far down in my Netflox queue.
I mean just look at it.




Oh! Be still mine heart!





Hot damn, I love the movies!

Look Öut!

I just bought a mild SHIT ton from TREATS and now I'm all like




But seriously folks.

Its muhfuhfriday yall.

What varieties of fun will be had today?!
Please choose your favorite.



1. Guitar Hero at the Best Buy


2. Get baked


3. Staring contest


4. Get enlightened


5. Experiment with the permanence of things


6. Practicing skills and exorcisms


7. Irresponsible no goodery


8. Dance party then slow motion murdering spree


9. Moving things onto other planes


10. Get over irrational fears


11. CONVINCING MATT SMITH TO HAVE AN NES MARATHON NIGHT ON HIS SHINY NEW PROJECTORG.

As It Were and Play The Way You Feel It

There is something so fantastic about this photo.



I love this style of life.
To be ultimately fueled by adventure yet to look effortlessly clean and well mannered and serious about the optimal life the best life.
Ah I love it.
I want this life. I want to hold this life so very tightly that my limbs go numb and that my eyes would be shut so tightly that my eyelids would feel like theyd flip inside out.
KIDDING! Kinda.

Also, I am thinking of a place far far away right now.
Usually when this is about to happen, I like to think that Im blindly choosing from a box but Im actually looking with one eye open. And Ill choose this place and ill fantasize about it while staring at an interesting angle or texture or a blank space.
My day dreams are far more active than my night dreams.
I think this mainly has to do with how and where I am dreaming.
Which makes me more anxious about moving in 8 months.



However, I think right now I could be in a number of places.

1.


2.


3.


4.


5.


6.


7.


8.


9.


10.


11.


12.


13.


14.


15.


16.


17.




Where do you go when youre daydreaming?
Im listening, fondly.

Making It All Go Boom Boom Boom and Gettin Smarter

Its all happening so fast.
Its nearly August.
Portland approacheth.
E.X.C.I.T.E!
Melinda is moving to Portland.
She is my only non-moped friend in Seattoe.
I am starting to understand the importance of these types of friends.
There is also Allison.
And she's moving to Manchester, Angalaaaaand.
Fucker.
Then theres the bits and pieces of my heart scattered everywhere else.
Shitty.


Im having some inner struggles.



These struggles involve things such as work, money, responsibilities (which can all be summed up with one word, CRAPPY) and the things I only want to do, which include things such as:

-makin movies
-makin a dome
-gardenin
-playin the drums
-shoutin
-lovin Chip and Otto, TO DEATH, naturally
-travelin
-writin stories
-huggin it out
-sailin
-dancin around bonfires
-fishin
-campin
-shoppin with Allison
-enterin cookin competitions
-readin
-learnin
-drivin


Just a few examples. Thats all.

I suppose this isnt the place to talk about how unfair life can be and the limited variations of immediate short lived happinesses.

Because this is place to talk about things that are of Bitchin' nature and/or relevant facts.

FACT.
I saw my first ginkgo tree in Skid Marks, WA.
I couldnt believe it. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!
It was a most definite WHAT THE SHIT moment.
Its my most favorite tree you know.
Not because of its elegant fannery, but because it symbolizes everlasting life and an immeasurable past. The immortal quiet that soaks histories and histories. Ah ginkgo you make my heart go boom boom.



* * *


Shhhhhhh! Otto! Il ne parle pas!



Otto rests as his insides had been stripped with acid.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh love, just rest now.



In due time mon amour you will be complete.



Lest not forget Dr Doom for all his kind help and all his kind words.



And the miracles of acid. Which oxidizes, ya' know?! Word!?



Things Otto still needs

-Ninja 3 pipe
-11 sprocket
-The Cock Party Pack
-Brake pads
-Shocks
-Headlight
-Chain
-Cables
-Pegs

OH LAWD!


Aaaaaaaaand in more vital news, Chips tank is back on thanks to Naz of Trina feat. Naz, and his impeccable welding job.



Rain and thunder through my heart, Chip.

Side note, I understand that Chip is falling apart slowly. Thats what happens when you ride a 30 year old stock bike at, like, 50mph, at least.
Shit falls off. Im workin on it.
Im working on it real good.



A DOI A DOI A DOI A DOI A DOI



I need some mall time.




GET IN MY MOUTH!




Its going to be hot this week Spandau Ballet, WA.
Be cool.

Cool It Meow.

Wow.
Either the lunar eclipse has sent me and Chip into a dizzying cavalcade of shittyness or I just get all the dumb luck.

I was spaced out, a little, last night, as I rode home.
Chip decided he wasnt going to cooperate.
We ran out of gas. Also, riding on reserve is awesome.
Also, everything was fine but somewhere between the gas station and my dank garage, my gas tube attached to my carb decided it wanted to take a break and remove itself.
Also, my gas tank also decided it wanted a break and detached itself from the frame.
Currently, currently I zip tied the tank to the frame as flush as poss.
Also, I retubed to the carb.
And thats that.
For now.




After a crummy crummy day, an unexpected letter cheered me up.
Ahhh I love the postal service.



Also, where my girls at?



Also, hai baby goat.



Also, Chip's twin.



Also, I think it would be really nice to ride with another Bravo.
But I have yet to find one.
It can be lonely riding stock. But at least Chip hasnt really let me down. YET!

Also, Joe Versus the Volcano is surprisingly good. It was as exciting as Tim Robbins in The Hudsucker Proxy which, now, I must see again and again. If you have a t'vee you'd like to give away I might know someone whod appreciate it. THIS GIRL (Im pointing at me).


I mean come on yall, its Tim Robbins!