Oh Wow

Otto-Matic Mess

Chip has a new friend.
His name is Otto and he comes from France.
Originally.
What we have here is a 1978 Motobecane 50V also known as Le Moped.
Originally.

Otto is a little mean but really its only because people dont understand him.
Also because he cant speaka that Anglish.

Otto, mon ami nouvel!



Obviously, he needs some serious help.
Otto WHY SO SERIOUS?!



I took off everything I could but really I couldnt go on without a socket wrench.

So out of frustration, I pickled cucumbers in rice vinegar and sugar.

Hopefully some day Otto will look as good as he did back then, but better, butter.





I remembered how awesome the camera obscura set up looked at the Vancouver Art Gallery aka VAG and cant wait to turn my tiny big home.
Here, I have flipped the image just because I know how slow your brain works in the morning time.





And in other news,
I am finally wearing my gladiators.


And my brain is still functioning at the rate of aligot.



And I could go on a murdering spree for just one delicious breakfast burr ee toe.
I mean just look at it.

I Am A Half Breed And I Bought Chopsticks Out of Necessity

Sometimes I forget that I came from this.


Oops I mean this.


But not from them specifically.
I think I am waaaaaaaay lucky for them to make me.

Im talking about coming from this, originally.


But I was actually born in Chicago in 1978.


I guess I needed to make a point to myself.
That even though I forget nearly every day that I am one of them, or rather 50% of each,
I am more like the following things.

-glowing when happy or excited


-a right head tilter


-an Unlovable lover


-interuptive colorer


-a chuckler


-an appreciator


-cat allergist


-curious about shapeshifting


-adventurer


-a team player


-a movie lover


-sweet granny lover


-a gun enthusiast


-a never forgetter of big time things


-a mashery of word lover


-an anemone fan


-a tim reardon dreamer


-a nostalgic sucker









Lets not forget the lovers.

Everything Hurts

Here, this hurts (fig. 1).



It's my right inner elbow.

What the shit happened?

I have also been slapped by the sun in strange places all over my bod
And all I want now is to not look like my big lil sister.




Sometimes I wish I had a smaller blogge that fit inside this blogge
And looked something in the style of this.



I just have some secrets thats all thats all.



But really, its days like these I want to stay in bed and watch the entire Emma Peel Collection.
Oh The Avengers you are everything I could only dream of being.





And in other news,
my brain is functioning at the rate of Aligot.



That's french for yummy.

Its So Cruel To Keep Me Here, Work

I think apart from being doomed, I would like to hold your hand.

Songs I Sing While Riding My Moped

(Oh Scott Walker I do! I do!)



I dont usually sing this but I hum it a whole lot and also this video is fucking kick ass!



Ok and I saved the best for last but since this world is cruel, I am unable to embed.
But it would look like this.



I mean come on you guys its Mariah in a clamshell.
I mean come on you guys its M A R I A H.
And I love her more than my own life sometimes.

I suppose this will suffice.





Spring is here, love.

Bumps In Thee Trunk

Hai Y'all!

I like that when you miss me you read my blogges.
After all, I dew it fyor yew.


Look.
Listen are you listening? Just listen to me ok?!

When I was small as in young, not small brain,
I REALLY REALLY wanted to race cars.
Even when I was a little bigger than small but not too big
I still REALLY REALLY wanted to race cars.
Too much so I destroyed my first car, the Volvo station wagon 740 in gold.
I had to put transmission fluid in every other day.
Thats bad Jihee thats bad.
The point is is that there is only one way for me.
Jihee likes to go fast.

But now, being married to Chip, where we've become one and all that shit,
I want to take it further.
But I am afraid of destroying him.
After all, he is a classic.
With identical seasonal allergies.



I am never a cheater I am fair and excited.
But when I run into a 76 Honda XL175 and/or maybe Balenciaga booties,
my head spins.
And I get so dizzy so dizzy!



I mean come on.

(Note: this is a 78 but jesus the one I saw last night was FIIIIIIIILTHY)


Yet with that said, I will alway stay true to Chip.
Last night after Georgestowne we came home to a nice chitchat.

Hi Chip.
How are you feeling.
When I am upstairs I miss you like craze.
Are you cold at night.
Do you need a snack.
Am I good to you or is there room for improvement.
We are soulmates, Chip.

I preciate you boo.


And in other news...
Time to make it happen forever.



And in more important news.
I cry for only panz only.







Je joue avec Vancouver!

Frantic Small Brain

I am getting my chair back.
I am bringing the monster back.




And in other serious news, dear diary.
(this is for James)



I cant wait for Reno and Portland.
I am going to pee all over myself.
It will be my first rallyhee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What The Shit, I Love You.

I love the shit out of THE MONKS.
And Rochas of course.









HAI IM GOING TO RENO!

Totes Bonks

With Mercury being in retrograde, a lot of shits been totes bonks aka totally bonkers.

1. I had my front tire slashed on Friday.



2. I had my bike seat viciously slashed on Friday. They must have really hated my butt.



3. I walked all the way to work (which isn't all that bad really) because there was a fire in the tunnel. However, during the 45 minutes I cried about feeling these:

a. violated
b. thirsty and worried about my level of dehydration
c. needing a serious hug



4. I recieved a thumbs up from Dean and West Seattle Dummy for swapping out my tire all by myself pretty much. They were available in the moral support department and I like that.



5. I discovered unsalted chips.



6. I volunteered at the SIFF office (Seattle International Film Festival) where I forced myself to work away from the other volunteers because there was a red haired/ginger psychopath who made me very very uncomfortable. She apologized for the cooler water being not as cold as it should be.



7. My friend Cindy, who happens to be a Jujitsu champ, beat me up at a bar.



8. I went totally preppy on Sunday for the Bainbridge Island ride. 25 miles of light blue oxford, navy boat shoes, and cutoff denim shorts, of course. Oh yeah and I took my first Washington state ferry ride.



9. During the ride, my pedal snapped off.



10. During the ride, Phil seized hardish.



11. During the ride, I was happy.



12. During the ride, I wanted to go faster and faster.



13. We saw a sea otter that later docked and slipped into the rocks where Arianna and I peed together.



14. Jihee would like to end this by sharing with you that Jihee had a good weekend and that Jihee is ok that Mercury in retrograde is bonks but Jihee will be ok.




And in old news, happy birthday yadam and cant wait for Ash Wednesday.





And in other news, my sister is going to OTIS and I am very proud of her.
Someone should tell her or at least send some serious awesome vibeage.