Breathe In, Breathe Out And Let Us Begin

Christmas has come and gone and what a bummer.
If only I can get gifts like these (my sister's child's nail clippings) fortnightly.



I had interesting flights to Chicagross then back to Seattle aka SlugBarf, WA.
There are only 3 parts to this story.

Firstly, I found a giant and a castle.



The castle was not on the plane but the giant was and at 8 feet tall, he was gentle as the plane did not crash when he was denied peanuts or as most asian people call it "peenus."
Thats the end of the flight TO Chicagoatse.
It was cold and wet and Jan and Kurt got to meet my sister Ron aka Rhotato Salad aka Rhanasaurus Rex.

Secondly, the planes were all being dee-iced. How dee-groovy.



And thirdly, an elderly woman, only speaking Arabic, needed her insulin shot. She needed assistance with her injection and because she was unable to communicate clearly, she frightened the flight attendants. But I was not scared. Earlier, this funny smelling woman and I had an exchange. Not a spiritual exchange but an exchange. An airport employee had rolled her to our gate. She mumbled and mumbled and as the employee walked away from her and her wheelchair, she dropped all her things: jacket, shawl, bag. With her defeated hands in the air, I picked up her things and handed them to her. She explained, in Arabic, and I pitied her maybe 26%. I am assuming she was saying the following.

Life is hard you know. Youre a young, spunky, smart, bright, beautiful girl. I was like you once. But look at me now. Confined to a wheelchair. With a cell phone dangling around my neck. What a fool I must look like. And I dont know what that smell is. Someone packed my bags for me. Now please. Please be a dear and roll me to McDonalds.

I walked away as our gate had changed.

Moments later, she was rolled to gate H8.
That's "hate" for those who are unable to add letters to numbers.

I was about to board the hate plane as my seat had not been assigned and I was getting warm (blood at a simmer).
I started to panic. I took off one of my jackets.
I paced I sighed.
JUST ONE MOMENT MS KIM WE WILL CALL YOU WHEN YOUR SEAT HAS BEEN ASSIGNED.

I watched groups 1-6 board the plane.
By now I was sweating and ready to scream.

And when there were only 7 people standing around, they called my name.
I was bumped to first class not because of my looks or because the flight was filled with families and they wanted to seat them together, but because it was Christmas night and American Airlines knew Travis was waiting for me impatiently or maybe a little patiently, dressed in his new leathers with flowers and baked Kettle chips.

So I boarded. And hot damn. Guess who was my seat neighbor!
She was already throwing a fit and the flight attendants were shouting DOES ANYONE KNOW ARABIC!!!. Apparently she had fallen face first. She was clearly overwhelmed and flustered. She needed her insulin shot and shouted MEDICINE MEDICINE. From our earlier encounter, I was able to identify her bag. From there she displayed on my chair (I was standing on the other side of the aisle) vials of insulin and needles. The flight attends were frantic. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS I CANT DEAL WITH THIS FOR 4 HOURS all while this woman was speaking to everyone in Arabic as if we all understood as if we were all nodding in unison. Poor woman.
The cops came eventually and escorted her out, promising a nights stay at the OHare Hilton, as it was already past her bedtime.


(Note: right photo is of alcohol swab + blood).

Immediately after she left, the flight attendants stripped the 2 seats (they were velcroed who knew!) and sprayed LYSOL everywhere WITH passengers sitting right behind.

I tried to keep happy thoughts in mind and not be annoyed and anxious.
Like how great it is that my sister and I are friends again.



And that you can bring your dog on the bus (in Seattle only as far as I know).



* * *

Mosquito Fleet needs a clubhouse.
I only wish it was here.



New years was the best.
I think the majority of Seattle enjoyed themselves in a chest beating sort of way.



Travis and I celebrated the first day of 2010 with hours and hours of lounging and Portal and Fable II and Castle Crashers and Domino's pizza. This is to wish us luck and success for this new year.



Then we celebrated new years again in the style of celebrating Ann's birthday.
We fondued the shit out of food and put our tiny Red to bed early as she was unable to stand. Happy birthday tomorrow Ann. Life without you would be a lot less exciting. And I actually mean that!



And in other news, we had our best game yet. 390 murdered!



This year I will finish many projects, move into a much bigger place with a yard and garage (I hope!), start running, ride in the Californe desert, learn how to not abuse money, travel more, read more, improve pranking skills, start thinking about dental hygiene school, and alert you earlier when Im bleeding. I do it for you, babe. Because I care.