Nature Is Hella Shaloming

Now where do I begin.
How about here.



That is my big toe.
I should really learn how to walk. Because if I knew how to walk, Id avoid hitting the sidewalk cracks and avoid cracking off half my toenail and suffering not only humiliation but tiny lightening bolts of pain.

That night we met with a pair of Travis' closest pals Katie and Akiva.
HOT DAWG! I cant tell you how great it was to see them again. And this time for more than just 3 hours. It was like 6 hours over a span of 2 days. THATS A RECORD!
My heart felt big upon seeing them then seeing Travis interact with his most favorite people. There are times when I step back and view and soak in everything happening. And these moments with Travis and his best friends have always left me very warm and happy. Also because Akiva could stick quarters in his eyeballs and how Katie says I TELL YOU WHAT and makes my ears perk up. If only she could add an H before her WHAT. Id be blown away. Also, I love Jews. I also love to sing them my favorite Hebrew song. Ive sung it to the now 4 new Jews Ive met in the last year. Jihee Kim Gold, Jewbees and Katie and Akiva. And Travis, who I thought was a Jew when I first saw his smirky face but he doesnt count because he's not a Jew. He's just a Chicago bred Jew magnet.

SING WITH ME!



ANYWAAAAAAAAAAZE.
Hi! How are you?! I loooooove that eyebrow ring you just got. Im kidding. I dont. I hate it and want to rip it out when I see it. But really. I love nature. So does Travis. THANK GOD. Its nice that we have ONE thing in common. And that one thing is Mango flavored Hi-Chew. Study this image and go get yourself some and reread this entire blogge.





Actually, that isnt the only thing Travis and I have in common. After a year and a month, Ive discovered that we have as many things in common as we have new things to discover. Yes. Even after a dingdong year. EGGCITE.

So we went on our first mini tiny getaway to Denny Creek. The only things I know about this creek is that its nothing like Assassins Creek and it has a massive rock water slide. And with my generous and sweet roommate Caitlyn leaving me her car for the weekend while she was ho-downing in Nashville, we got the hell out of town.



AH! If only we were miniatures living in this world.









THEN WE FOUND THIS. WHO ARE THESE IMPOSTORS! HOW DARE THEY LOOK LIKE US!



This little guy got KABOOMED by our good looks. Sorry!



Then we walked back along the creek and Travis challenged the creek to see who can make it the end of the creek faster. Well, you guessed it. HE LOST.





THEN THE JERK DISAPPEARED and as much as I could have gotten worried, I didnt. Then the second I questioned what could have happened, I heard a loud SPLOOSH into the rushing creek. UGH I KNEW HE DIDNT FALL IN. I knew he wouldnt have jumped in. I knew a bear wouldnt have knocked his head and threw him in the creek. GAD DAMMIT THAT JERK. Then down below, I saw 2 beady eyes. THAT JERK! Then that JERK proceeded to cross the creek LIKE THIS.



That jerk laughed and laughed thinking I believed that SPLOOSH was his bod in the creek. HOW DARE HE!

I got over it by eating a delicious nectarine but quickly had an allergic reaction because the world hates me. This happens when I eat certain raw vegetables and fruits during certain parts of the year. F THAT. But dont F this.



OH WONDEROUS WONDER.

We stopped by Alpental where Travis showed me where he fought off a bear off some child then later became the President of tiny Switzerland for a day.



He promised PROMISED that we'd come back in the winter time to snowboard/ski. Ive only snowboarded once and it HURT THE SHIT OUT OF MY ASS.

Can you imagine it all covered in snow?! HOW FRIGHTENINGLY EXCITING!



Oh hello which way to the portal?!



It was a short and sweet little getaway and I cant wait til we actually find DENNY CREEK and trick Travis by faking my own death. Oh boy he's gonna git sooooo mad! OH SHIT HE READS THIS BLOG. But only when I pay him.

WITH TAMALES!!!!



Im getting better and better, little by little. Some day, I will be the master veggie tamale maker. People will soon hook onto my ankles begging for tamale guidance.

YOU BETCHA ITS GON' HAPPENS.

Bye now!