Brutally Beyond Belief and Nuisances

OH MY GAAAAAAAAD.



Remember that one time I was like I CANT WAIT TIL I MOVE IN 1O MONTHS.
Well that time is now and of course nothing is going as planned.
Im mildly happy about it though, because I would rather live under my desk at work than live with strangers who could potentially ruin all good things known to man.
Basically, my first experiences in SHEEEEEEEEEEEATURR were terrible due to all the bullshit people I lived with. Except MELINDA of course. But no more ex-meth addicts who are obsessed with their ex-girlfriend, no more transgendered oppressed anarchist lesbians, no more cocaine partiers, no more mean cats.

So its a good thing these 2 assholes flaked on me and Kurt.
We can finally live in retardom together before he leaves us forever, for Yarpan to be with the love of his life, Miwakorn.

But we cant move yet because the landlord of our future home is stuck in Hungary (POOR BABY), due to the volcano (THANKS VOLCANO).
So Im going to stay with my boyfriend for a few weeks.
I know I know THE HORROR!!!
But we think it will work out, temporarily.
Ill keep you posted as best I can of the experience but for now, Im excited and scared.
Like sleepaway camp, I will be very exhausted for the next few weeks so dont get mad if I dont remind you how pretty you.

ANYHEWDLES

So Ive been packing OR I got robbed.



What else has been happening in the world.

McMinnville White Weiner fest happened on Sunday.



This time there were more than 2 mopeds.
This time there were 7.



It was basically The Mosquito Fleet vs The Puddle Cutters and boy was it a hoot to see Wayne and Emily. I only wish I had more time in Portland as I NEVER get to which is pathetic, really, since its only 3 hours away.

ANYWAY.

Travis came in 1st in pretty much all the moped races, which wasnt really all that surprising.
Its funny because nearly a year ago he refused to race he'd stand there arms crossed and tell me NO like I was some dumb kid trying to convince him that I was mildly psychic, which I AM.
He's a graceful rider. Honestly. You can see the confidence and trust he has in his machine. And he looks more natural riding Big Red than Betty White (SORRY HON ITS TRUE).
But he put the fear in me when he raced this one kid from Portland.
A kid who some people claimed had a bitchin fast bike.
WELL, as the founder of "Bitchin' and/or Facts" I cannot agree.
His moped not only sounded a bit on the janky side, he just didnt look natural riding. He was riding a moped and that was it. I dont think Im being biased by saying so. Its just THE FACTS.
Prettiest bike had to go to Uphill Battle Joe #420 (teal mags and red frame AW CUTE).



As a fellow Vespa admirer, I was intrigued and curious.
The more I thought of racing, the more I wanted to make Chip into my race bike.
Im comfortable with not only the frame but in general, comfortable riding the shit out of it.
But Travis and Phil have been trying to convince me that the Hobbit is the smarter, better version of the Vespa.

Lets stop talking about that.
And talk about how some people were born to wear leathers.





And some people were born to point out their muscles.



And some people were born to wear seafoam green.



Macro races are always fun.



And bunnies are always interesting because you NEVER know what theyre thinking about.



Also, dirt bikes are forever kickass.



Oh yeah and some people just want to play the shit out of D+D because its fucking cool.



Im ready for summer.



Bye now.
Lets meet back here soon.